Does that teach you something about life? That even when you try you’re going to fail. I’d pay big money for someone to take me away. The walls are crumbling and I wish my self preservation would fail so that they could crush me. Pack up my bags, start again. Nothing but fresh air, my puppy and my cat. New beginning, one I can’t ruin. Just take me away.
Doodie, for so long it was just me and you there and you don’t know what it meant to me to have you genuinely care. But Doodie, I’m a world a way from you and happy for the most part, though sometimes it’s down right hard and I struggle through the mud to find a brighter clearing. But you don’t know what it’s like without you here, it still brings me to tears and I try and hold myself together, make it better but I can’t. Doodie, I found my strength, a reason beyond me that gets me there. And please know that I can’t call you or text, cause honestly I think I’d be a mess. But I hope you get this message and know I truly care about you, in every single way. And I hope you’re happy, hope you’re finding life easy and I’m doing this for you cause I know with me, you won’t be. Doodie, you’re so strong you don’t need me. I know you’ll get there, where ever you want to be. So don’t look back, just set yourself free.
Can’t you see my life is a mess without you? Has it occurred to you that everything is falling in? But how could I bring you into this shit? I caused it, I know I did, I’m too blame. Late at night I think about the days I could crawl into bed beside you and just be. Because my existence was enough. And you think it hurts to be gone? No, being gone is easy compared to witnessing first hand pure destruction. You can’t fix me, you can’t save me. So what do you plan on doing besides making me worse for being so selfish to put you through that? You don’t belong in my world. There’s no happiness here, it’s such bitter sweet and dry.